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Hey all you fellow Tenno, it's been a while. Hope you all missed me in some sense (or missed my absence, if you really hate what I do). Sorry about a large lack of doing literally anything on the wiki, but I ended up letting summer vacation get to my head, which meant waking up at 7:00 A.M., and going on a 10-hour game marathon until 5:00 P.M., resulting in me doing absolutely nothing productive in between.


Putting all that aside, I'd like to assume that you all, as a community, enjoyed embarking into Salad V's spare mystery meat refrigerators for his creepy-pasta meat shipments, getting brutally gunned down by super-steroid Cor-Prawns, and ultimately cashing out for some big bucks, potatos, puzzle pieces, expiring crystals, annoying-to-farm rare metal crap, and tons of cores. I personally missed half the stuff, including some potatoes. Aside from that point, this mini-event of Tenno paydays seriously hinted at a few things, which appear to be leading into an obvious event of some sort (or just Update 14, whoops).


Let's start with the fact that Salad V's absolutely nuts. Bonkers just as before. Except he's taken his "glorious future" from the dirty work of subjecting Tenno to personal bondage programs, then pleasantly dismembering them to stuff in his robo-dog, and now decided to employ himself with the dirty work of subjecting his own kind to the Infested mystery meat in some mildly shady shipments. This further escalates, as you brutally murder/get murdered by the jolly old toaster-headed inhabitants of these totally inconspicuous ships. Salad spills the beans and dressing, letting you know that he hates your Tenno balls, and that he's having a hard time doing crap with you trying to brutally murder him. Now, he wants to take his "future" into finding the technology in Infested technocyte virus-ridden meat, and he's apparently enjoying it. He went far enough to slap some of this nasty stuff onto his own personal neck-mounted toilet seat.

With all this in mind, we can obviously see that Salad V plans on making Infested Corpus hybrid tech, as the Infested MOAs and drones are already accepted and plan to be implemented. These could get a free ride in with an event centered around yours truly, Mentally Debilitated Toilet-Bowl Salad. Whether or not these abomination-ridden proxies will actually become permanent, or just be a hit-and-run from an event, we're not totally sure.

On the next topic, this assumed event that I'm wildly pointing fingers at could possibly be a way to introduce those nasty bulb-bud walking ancients that won the contest as well, allowing them to roam due to Salad's obsessive "hobby". This wouldn't make quite as much sense, as ancients are "ancient", meaning they've had time to assimilate their hosts into a mass of mystery meat, but hey, whatever logic flies is DE's logic flying.

Also, as event rewards, we may get some dual-stat mods, with those favorite elemental-status hybrids that everybody likes to sell at obscene prices (tears at Tethra mods), and I'd like to assume that they'll be ice mods. I just remember from somewhere (probably not a credible source) that there was a forum post with a "leaked mod", that had a name related to ice, and it sounded like something that DE would name their dual-stats off of (Virulent Scourge? Pistol Pestilence? Yeah...) Again, I don't remember the details, so this is a wild throw, but I would expect at least some dual mods in the near future with this event, if it ever happens.

Another theory I slipped upon with the event with our wonderful Salad V was the idea of a re-launched J-3 Golem, who is something more than just a really, really fat Runner who ate fourteen too many Taco Bells. Perhaps he'll be a result of Salad's mad experiments. Perhaps he'll even be Salad V himself, who decided to slather way too much technocyte mystery meat onto his toilet seat. At that point, we can even over-hype ourselves into thinking that we'll get the return of an Infested planet.


Bottom line, I'm expecting this isn't the last of 'Ol Crazy Salad V and his weirdo fetishes of shoving crewmen into vats of technocyte mystery meat, and this definitely wasn't meant to be just any old sub-event. Something's stirring, whether it's an actual event, or a real lead into Update 14.


As usual, discuss your/my/Salad V's craziness, what you think, your own speculations. Theory-crafting is the best part about my blogs, and it's fun to see what you all thing and be proven wrong.



Polls, because we must have polls. It's been too long.

Do You Believe in an Event to Follow?
 
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10
 
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15
 
4
 
78
 

The poll was created at 01:49 on June 10, 2014, and so far 504 people voted.
I'm not going to lie, I wanted to have more polls, but I ran out of ideas for this one. Filler polls for totally legitimate feedback.
 
7
 
9
 
41
 
39
 
200
 
17
 
17
 
39
 
60
 
35
 
10
 

The poll was created at 01:49 on June 10, 2014, and so far 474 people voted.

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