Melee 2.0 flew out of Vay Hek's mother's face today, complete with a major grind-fest boss, awesome katanas, Davy Jones, a cross-gun, and a fancy dinner knife and Kriss.

I was hyped.


I love this update, without a doubt, and the awesomeness packed into all the crazy combos is massive fun. If I could get my hands on one.

I don't have a single stance. Nothing. Farming yields abysmal results. My Reaper Prime, in all fanciness and hilarity, is stuck with a three hit combo. I don't know about you guys, but this was slightly upsetting to me.

I'm aware I got myself into RNG grind hell whenever I signed up for this awesome space-ninja-pirates-birds-animals-goats game, but I was NOT expecting this. I've heard the drop-tables were fixed a bit, and I'll try again tomorrow for my stances, but it left a bitter feeling in my stomach (might just be my hunger).

A melee weapon without a stance, honestly, feels useless and nothing different from Melee 1.0. Off the bat, grabbing a new blade-hammer-stick-JETHAMMER-katana means you have to either farm your face off for the mod, have it before hand by stroke of luck, or just be stuck with unsatisfying, combo-less gameplay.

I feel that each melee weapon should at least have some "generic" combos that went with it, and stances enhanced the weapon with unique combos. Having to grind to make a weapon fun just isn't right. At the very least, include a single stance mod, even if it's a super generic combo stance, along with the weapon.

Systems? Awesome. Melee? Awesome. Katanas? Awesome. Implementation? Yeerhk.

Pushing aside the ultra-grind fest off to the side, let's talk about content. We got What-the-Vay Hek, and he's so upset. Seriously upset. I have yet to fight Fatty McGrumpy, but I'm expecting a good fight after I grind for 20 different stances and 6 metric tons of signal ball, decorated with Ugly Hek's face.

Davy Jones, the Hydroid. I could settle for a far better name, but it's too late to argue that one. Hopefully he won't be lackluster, and receive a dumpster full of dead baby bashing, because Goat-Boy got the wrong end of the enchilada. His skills look interesting, and turning into a puddle of water is the best thing since canned bread. If they allow his water affects to be changed by energy, I can see so many Davy Jones making piss-floods and piss-pools. Fun stuff.

Attica and Nami Skyla are intriguing, but nothing I'm really out to try any time soon. I still need to level everything I forma'd around Update 11, and left to rot in my inventory.

My favorite part, where I get to fan hardcore because I don't know any better, and millions of "Katanas are trash" arguments will rise from the murky depths of Pissy Jones' locker. WE HAVE KATANAS. Too bad they're clan-tech, though. We've got our researching, so I just have to sit in my pants and wait. I'm unbelievable hyped about this, to the point where I'll go grind for a Tranquil Cleave before I can even craft a Dragon Nikana. I was mildly amused to find that the Dragon Nikana is the EXACT same price in platinum as the standard Nikana.

This will totally be the sword that makes me run around without any guns, because screw the logic and functionality.

Discuss your gripes/rants/complaints/marriage proposals/grindfest experiences below!

Polls, because everyone needs polls.

Is the Hype Real for U13?

The poll was created at 00:27 on April 11, 2014, and so far 390 people voted.
Do You Like Melee 2.0?

The poll was created at 00:27 on April 11, 2014, and so far 436 people voted.

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